Logically happy. Emotionally sad.

Not once did he talk to me today. I know that when we do talk it's not like we have any deep or necesarily deep conversations, but he always says hi and some joke. Unfortunately, jokes are the majority of things associated with our conversations. But still, he didn't even say hi. 

I'm happy because nothing happened. He didn't do anything out of the ordinary. He didn't tell me anything that would make me mad or happy.  Considering our past ugly conversations, i'm glad that he understands that it would be best to keep a distance from me. It wouldn't end well and i totally aware and happy with that. 

I'm sad because l'm still a stupid human being whose feelings say that you are attracted to me and imagine how great it would be if you could actually talk to him. I still don't understand why i would want his attention. In a way i do want him to say hi but for what?? 

Although part of me is sad i know this is for the best and that i cannot afford any issues. None. I am not risking anything for someone who i still don't understand why i am attracted to in the first place. 

Oh well. At least i know that God is making his moves and listening to my petitions. He knows i want no troubles, and if keeping him away is the answer then let it be.