i know that i'm getting my period soon because my emotions are kinda wacked out. i don't believe wacked is word but i don't care. i'm thinking about it today and i think it's weird that my coworker, who unfortunately, i am attracted to, didn't say anything to me.
even my other one, who i barely talk to, made conversation with me and was nice enough to wish me a well weekend since monday is columbus day. like, am i taking this too fucking personal? why couldn't he just say goodnight. i mean i did see him talking to someone else, but i honestly refuse to initiate any conversation. i know me initiating the convo will only lead me to want more about him and i am doing my very best (practically perfect) at not talking to him on a daily basis.
even though i don't want to talk to him and do anything, (since it is bad for me), i guess i'm kinda bummed out that my other two coworkers, who are the team, were kind enough to say goodbye and wish me a well weekend.
i'm not even saying that they have to, because they don't. there are times where i literally rush my way out of work without saying a word to anyone. and that wasn't the case today, i actually was going to go over to their desks and tell each of them goodnight. but that wasn't the case. and it's kinda like "what is the issue with you saying goodnight?"
what the hell is wrong with me. there is so much wrong with me. i don't want to be near him and yet i do.
too many highs and lows.
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