k.

i said goodbye and he said "goodbye NAME".  i did look him in the face, right in the eyes, smiled and moved away quickly. i had to say goodbye simply because we were going to bump into each other and i said it quickly without looking at him. i don't know why i looked at him in the eyes, i shouldn't have done that. i don't like doing that to myself.

but i did, and even though it was momentarily, he was very quiet and he said my name. i didn't say his name, i was saying it in general. but he said it very nicely, i shouldn't have noticed it. at all. i wish i didn't care about that shit, but i did. i really do though. since we were going to bump into each other, after we exchanged words, he let me go first with a bow. to be completely fair, i said goodbye first. i didn't want to be absolutely rude. it was all too quick. but anyways, i just want to forget about it. in a way, i do.

i'm just glad that work is over. i was moody all week and still emotional. and even though he spoke to me, it doesn't change anything. i need to let things to be, i need to continue to pray to God. God has all the answers, and even if i don't understand anything, he does.