coming to terms.

my breasts are ugly. they're small and they sag. i have huge areolas and the nipples are south. i know they're ugly. i am very insecure about them and i've always been. i try my best to hide them away in whatever i can (unless i'm home i don't care) and i would never want anyone to see them. i try my best not to let my sister or mom even see them because i know what faces they make. i get it. i really do. i'm not pretending.

i hope to God that a man doesn't care about them. i really hope so. i really really really hope that if he is repulsed, to at least pretend he is happy and keep his comments to himself. i wonder why i didn't get ever get just ok breasts. not big, not small, just no drooping or even smaller areolas. just normal. but i don't want to question the Lord, because that's the way he made me.

and i've been coming to terms with them lately. i have bought a bralette in hopes to see the positive of my breasts. i am young. they're not wrinkly. they don't have any scars or pimples on them. i'm still a B cup. thank God i don't have breast cancer. I have two of them. I can wear a bra. they are part of my womanhood and being a female and all that feminine stuff. some man will put up with it if he really loves me. i can sleep on my stomach. i don't need a big bra. i don't have back pain. men look me in the face when i speak to them.

the braille is pretty and it's for girls who have a small pair. i don't know if a B is small and i don't know if sagging breasts makes them smaller, but i bought a bralette. i love the way it looks on me, i don't have the guts to wear it to work, but i do wear it on the weekends and i feel free. i'm thinking about buying some unlined ones, just to see what it would look like. i want to feel beautiful regardless of what i think. i deserve to feel beautiful just as any woman should.

i don't have push up bras ; they make me feel fake, stupid and betraying. i would never want to lead anyone into thinking that i have large perky breasts when i sure do not. i feel uncomfortable with any bra that isn't my size and that doesn't cover me.

i'm trying to come to terms with my breasts. it's not easy but i think it can be done.