time off.

Today i found out that he isn't going to be in until next week since he's off for vacation.

i was a bit surprised, but not angry, upset or sad. i surprised myself with those reactions.

i loved the idea of being able to do my work without any sort of distraction - even from him, who i try not to take notice of.

i loved thinking about not having to look his way whenever i walk down the hallway.

i loved knowing that i had a chance of being free from his presence and my stupid feelings for him.

i was wrong.

instead, he creeped into my every thought. i day dreamed without the fun. i thought about him and i didn't even smile or feel happy.

 it was like that annoying ass song you hear on the radio that you know you hate but you can't get rid of because it's so catchy and now your stuck with it until something else is powerful enough to distract you from it.

i thought about him ALL DAY. and i didn't even think about : oh how's his vacation? where did he go?

instead i just thought about the way he sits, the way he dresses, the fact that he needs to get his shit together, his glasses, how he's important at the place.

stupid ass shit. and stupid ass me for thinking these stupid ass thoughts.

yes, he had time off and i had time off -- mentally.