i have random thoughts about him and i dont like it. especially knowing how pathetic it is for me to feel like that. he has a girlfriend, ive heard repeatedly said "his girl" or "your girl". he is not interested in me at all. he is not attracted to me. he considers me a kid, not even a woman. he already knows that im a difficult person who has no problem being left alone. 

i need to keep telling me myself all those things.